The Fear No Parent Talks About

What I wish someone had told me when my son wanted to die.

I don’t know if this is your story too, but when my son was struggling with suicidal ideation, the feeling I remember most wasn’t sadness or anger. It was fear.

I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to help him. Afraid I wouldn’t find the right professionals.Afraid the world would make things worse. Afraid that I’d say the wrong thing and lose him forever. And at night, when I tiptoed into his room to check if he was still breathing, I’d say a prayer and hold my breath as I touched his face or feet... praying they were still warm. That he was still here.

This is what fear looks like when you're a parent in crisis.

The Fear We Don't Know How to Handle

When your child is suicidal, you're suddenly faced with something you were never trained for. You know how to treat a scraped knee or a broken heart, but how do you treat a child who wants to die?

We can’t bandage it. We can’t inject them with hope. We can’t force them to want to live.

And that helplessness is terrifying.

You may not have seen signs. You may have felt completely blindsided. You may be blaming yourself or someone else. That’s a natural fight-or-flight response to fear.

Fight or Flight. Neither Helps Our Child

Fear does strange things to parents. Some of us lash out, blame the school, the other parent, the friends, even the child. Others shut down completely, handing everything over to professionals and stepping back out of fear of making it worse.

Both are understandable. Neither is helpful. What your child needs is informed, present, courageous leadership from you.

Your Child Needs You. Not Perfect, But Present

You might feel broken. But you’re still the most important person in your child’s world. Mental health professionals can support your child, but you are the one they come home to.

And that home must be:

• Emotionally safe

• Calm but structured

• Open to listening

• Rooted in respect and love, not control or fear

Taking their door off or micromanaging their life will likely backfire. But so will avoiding the tough questions or deferring everything to someone else. The secret is balance: structure + compassion, clarity + empathy.

Let Them Lead, Just Enough

Your child can participate in their healing. Let them use safe coping tools that work for them. Let them talk about their emotions without judgment. Let them know their voice matters.

They shouldn’t carry the weight of decision-making alone, but they must be part of the team. That’s how they begin to believe: “Maybe I do matter. Maybe I am capable. Maybe I want to live.” "Maybe this life is worth fighting for."

You Don't Have to Do This Alone

When I went through this, I didn’t know where to turn. I made mistakes. I froze. I let fear lead. But eventually, I realized: I had to become the guide my son needed. Not the perfect parent. The present one.

That experience changed everything, and it’s what led me here. This is why I became a parenting coach. To offer the help I wish I had. To walk with you through the unthinkable. To remind you that healing begins at home, and it begins with you.

💬 Let’s Talk

If this resonates with you, you're not alone. I offer free discovery calls to help you explore whether this support is right for your family and if you are ready for this important step forward.

Your child needs a fierce, grounded parent, and you are capable of becoming that, even in the middle of a storm.

🛡️ Click here to book a free call💌 Or reply to this email and share your story. I'm listening.